


When Wade Met Harry

by ChelseasDeadSmile



Series: Chelsea's One-Shots [35]
Category: Deadpool (Comics), Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Deadpool And His Usual Insanity, Deadpool Has No Love For The Reader, Gen, Gratuitous Use Of Wizard of Oz Reference, Harry as a baby, Humor, Mentioned Dr. Strange, Multiple Voices, Reader-Insert
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-23
Updated: 2017-04-23
Packaged: 2018-10-23 04:04:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 558
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10711815
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChelseasDeadSmile/pseuds/ChelseasDeadSmile
Summary: See what he did there? Instead of "When Harry Met Sally" it's "When Wade Met Harry"? Haha...No? Well, I wasn't expecting much when you younger generation of Reader's don't even know who Meg Ryan and Billy Crystal are!WB: Get on with the Summary, Wade.YB: No! I was liking where this was going!Anywho, this is how I, Wade Wilson, Captain of Comedy, Bringer of Death, Fantastic Pun Extraordinaire, met little baby, Harry Potter.





	When Wade Met Harry

**Author's Note:**

> I was going to **try** to expand this, but, ultimately, I'm happy with what I wrote in the end. I find it funny so I hope you will too ^ ^

One cold night in October, Wade Wilson, aka Deadpool, was taking a lovely midnight stroll down the London suburbs after killing a man that had been causing trouble for the local London cartel, and, well, now Wade had nothing to do…or so he thinks.

Really, he could have stolen Tony Stark’s jet and gotten back to the states by now, but, no, he was being led somewhere by something very mysterious of which he hasn’t quite figured out what it was yet, but, when he does, he’ll make it wish it hadn’t led him anywhere in the first place.

WB: Liar.

YB: Oh! This is so much fun! We should blow something up!

“Not now guys, we’re being led down the yellow brick road” Wade said as he continued walking like a zombie to wherever he was going to end up at.

Eventually, he just walked right into the reader’s point of view, “Was it you leading us somewhere? Because, I have to say, I don’t like where we ended up it’s…to…suburbia” Wade told you as he pointed at you with an unimpressed look on his masked face.

WB: Look to your left, Wade.

YB: We should blow the reader up!

Wade looked to his left to see a door that said “4” on it and then something on the porch.  “Hm, now who would leave something on someone’s porch in the middle of the night?” Wade asked himself as he cartwheeled up the walkway just to look into the box and see…a baby?

WB: What’s a baby doing outside a house?

YB: Maybe it’s unwanted? Let’s take it!

“Now, now we can’t just take a baby off a random porch – we have to do the heroic thing and make sure it has a name first and, if it doesn’t, then we can take it” Wade told himself before he took the letter that said “Mr. and Mrs. V. Dursley” on it along with the houses address.

“Well now, let’s see if this conveniently placed letter tells me anything” Wade said before ripping it open and skim reading the contents of the later.

“Dear Mr. and Mrs. Dursley, yadda, yadda, yadda.    It’s with our sincerest condolences that we regret to inform you your sister and her husband have been killed, yadda, yadda, yadda.  This is Harry Potter, their son and now your charge, yadda, yadda, yadda.  We’ll deposit money into your bank account every month in order to take care of him.  Sincerely, Headmaster Albus Dumbledore of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry” Wade read out loud trying to find only the important facts in the letter.

WB: The babies a wizard then.

YB: Cool! I always wanted a wizard!...What’s a wizard?

“To my knowledge boys, it’s something only the grand Sorcerer Supreme himself knows about.  Let’s take him, the letter, and go to the great Mastermind and ask him what a wizard is” Wade said as he picked up the baby.

WB: Be gentle with him, Wade – he’s breakable.

YB: Not when we’re done with him!

“Of course! We’ll have to harden his bones against breaking that way he’ll be able to take on Loggy one day” Wade said as he walked away from the house before noticing the reader was missing so he turned his head backward, “You comin’ or what?”


End file.
